At dusk on the festival’s opening night, a velvet-roped tender slipped away from the Palais des Festivals, carrying a clutch of nervous junior publicists and an even more nervous Pomeranian toward a vessel that looked less like a boat and more like Elon Musk’s weekend hobby.
The tender’s captain, unfazed, pointed to the glowing silver arc on the horizon and quipped, “That’s not the moonrise, that’s THIS IS IT.” Within minutes, the yacht swallowed its guests in a glass-and-chrome grin, leaving the Croisette chattering about who would make it past the biometric gangway next.
Hollywood Babylon Meets Hellenic Panache
Owned by Greek tech impresario Tasos Papanastasiou, THIS IS IT isn’t just a floating Versailles; it’s a Wi-Fi-enabled mood board for late-capitalist aspiration. Industry trackers say superyacht orders are up 8 percent year-on-year, and consultants at AlixPartners project the global fleet will crest 7,000 hulls by 2030—enough to turn the Mediterranean into a billionaire bumper-car rink.
Yet only one vessel persuaded A-listers to swap red carpet for deck teak: the 289-foot “spaceship on water” that doubles as Cannes’ most effective paparazzi honey-trap.
Brand Promenade, Billion-Dollar Parade
Ray-Ban chose its launch party here; Creative Artists Agency turned the aft deck into the most exclusive slushie machine on earth. The economics are eye-watering: factoring helicopter transfers, security, and champagne tallies, a single evening onboard can cost north of $1 million—chump change for labels citing the yacht’s 2.3 billion social-media impressions since January. Market researchers predict the experiential-luxury segment will grow 12 percent next year, largely on the backs of brand activations that out-dazzle fireworks and out-shine searchlights. For Cannes, that means yachts have become the new cinema: the pictures are moving, but the deals are positively motion-capture.
Carbon Guilt, Meet Carbon Fiber
Cynics mutter about emissions, yachts like this can gulp 500 liters of diesel per hour, but THIS IS IT counters with hybrid propulsion and solar skin panels that feed its Beyoncé-grade lighting rig.
The maritime-tech crowd insists green yachts could hit a $3 billion market by 2028, turning virtue into yet another revenue stream. If the vessel’s hull is a mirror, perhaps it reflects our collective hypocrisy: we clutch reusable coffee cups yet cheer a superyacht that burns enough fuel to toast every baguette on the Riviera.
Star Power, Sea Power, Soft Power
Still, griping feels futile when Rihanna steps aboard wearing Ray-Ban’s new “Rocky” frames, and the yacht’s algorithmic hull projects a constellation of likes across the bay. Cannes’ mayor quietly admits berths like this inject €60 million into the local economy each May.
Think of THIS IS IT as the world’s most expensive pop-up shop-one that sells dreams, not doodads. In an era where attention is the scarcest currency, the boat has minted itself a central bank.
Zinger on the Aft Deck
So let the landlubbers fume. While critics debate whether THIS IS IT is pinnacle or parody, the yacht simply unfurls its retractable nightclub, polishes its carbon-fiber grin, and sails into tomorrow’s headlines. After all, when the Croisette asks, “Who wore it best?” the answer this year was a ship. And if you’re still on shore, darling, maybe that says more about your floatation device than hers.
